Yesterday I was wondering why we have never had a Doctor Who Thanksgiving Special. After all, there has been a Doctor Who Christmas Special every single year since 2005. So why not a Thanksgiving Special?
Okay, I understand, Doctor Who is a British-produced television series, and Thanksgiving is an American holiday. So, yeah, it’s not liklely that the Doctor would have to save Cardiff from being overrun by a flock of alien turkeys. But the show always could make another excursion here to the States to film a Thanksgiving special.
Thinking it over some more, though, I soon came up with a much better idea: a Doctor Who Black Friday special! If necessary, the BBC would not even have to film it in America, because it turns out that Black Friday consumer madness has now spread to Great Britain, with police across the the country being called in to control unruly crowds.
So, here’s my idea: the Doctor and his companion arrive on Earth in the TARDIS on the day after Thanksgiving. They are alarmed and horrified to find mobs of maddened shoppers swamping department stores, drawn by the promise of absolutely insane discount prices. But it all turns out to be a trap. All the shopping mall gates slam closed simultaeously across the globe, imprisoning millions of consumers. And then the store mannequins and shop window dummies begin to come to life…
Yes, it’s the Autons! All of these events have been put into motion by the extraterrestrial Nestine Consciousness. Having seized control of the giant multi-national retail juggernaut Sale-Mart via their Auton duplicates, the Nestine Consiousness has slashed the prices of its entire line of merchandise to absolutely rock-bottom levels. After all, why bother sending out an army of Auton soldiers to try and conquer the world when you can just lure the masses to your super-stores with the promise of super savings, at which point you can easily slaughter all those defenseless consumers?
The plastic Christmas trees would also begin marching about, shooting flames and launching razor-sharp ornaments at helpless bystanders.
Obviously it would fall to the Doctor to rescue humanity from the twin threats of the Nestine Consciousness and it’s own covetous nature. And, having saved the world, the Doctor would impart a sage message about the true meaning of Black Friday, namely that it is the day when we should all just stay at home and sleep off all of that turkey we ate the night before.
Well I for one think it would make for a cracking episode. So, anyone else here up for having the BBC broadcast Doctor Who: The Black Friday Invasion next year?